This was written in response to Natasha Badhwar's Tell me what makes you cry (http://www.livemint.com/Leisure/1PP0MrvRkqFpGRkqNEh19N/Tell-me-what-makes-you-cry.html)



What makes me cry

My association with tears go a long way back. I particularly recall a conversation we had during our early courtship when Ajay shared that he felt that I may be the less emotional one in the relationship and don't cry. I immediately reassured that I do cry and by now must have proven my point beyond doubt.It is not a quality that I am proud of, but among all those things I inherited from my mom, this has come along too. a google search on why women cry gives a variety of possible reasons ranging from women have smaller eye ducts which gets filled faster.

Crying on an argument, contrary to popular belief, instantly weakens your case as for one - the opponent calls foul 'you are crying' card and two - you are not able to see, talk or think clearly in midst of all that out pour of saline water. I have tried to analyse why I cry on arguments so that I get rid of the habit at the earliest and narrowed down as tiredness as the hidden condition combined with unhappy and angry as the major spoiler. As a matter of fact, tiredness may also be the root cause of the argument. So to avoid tears one should avoid overloading one-self to the extend that one feels the other is a lazy scum bag which may not be entirely true. But on the brighter side I have found few things as therapeutic as crying.

Out of nowhere it pops into my head that I did create this blog some months back, trying to remember the resolutions I made while creating it, as I search for the forgotten login and password among alternate emails and 'Remember' files. Well indeed, time does fly and I remember that I made it so that if not for anyone else to read, I would glance through these posts (hopefully not at this frequency) years later, and remember myself, my thoughts and the being I have been. As I put it, for a record of my own thoughts.

I have wanted to be a teacher and a columnist for so long now, that I have forgotten about it through most of my daily life. It is on silent Saturday afternoons like these when I have decided to let company time on reading, surfing online that it awakens me, hey, what about the budding columnist.

So in the time that flew by which accumulates to years, I have been an ambitious teenager dreaming about being the next Indira Nooyi or the CFO on ET front page, optimistic Indian waiting to see India shining upon the world, the young smart intern, just an above average employee, in love, busy wife, now expecting mother, with few changes in the earlier ambitious thoughts for myself and the country which may now fall under the more realistic category. I am not sure if the fall in ambition is what happens to most of us after a few years of entering the working world when you realize that the way to the top, if not for all that easy (never thought it nor wanted to be easy) is not really all that rosy - anyway more on that later. What I was coming to, was all the things that I would have written about, had I started this blog earlier or continued my attempts in the past to keep writing.

 Okay, thoughts have gone farther and faster than words could, and I am now lost..

Forever in search of the happy ending

Forever in search of the happy ending

How do we ever know 

If we are walking the right road

When sometimes, a wrong

Is the first step to the right

What looks wrong turns out perfect

And perfect goes all wrong

We shall only know in the end

If the end is well and all's well

But as long as, we live to count

Will we ever know the end

Then happy endings are unfinished stories

And tragedies are how fairy tales begin

Yet there are things that look like perfect

 For all we know is what it seems to be

And we live to hope that it turns out to be

Forever in search of the happy ending

That is never to be, as long as we can see